Is there a better example of a modern ambulance chaser-writ-large than former Veep and Nobel Prize winner Albert Gore? It's quite a testament to the man's less-than-obvious flair for the dramatic and hyperbolic that he has been able to far surpass the "cottage industry" stage and create an actual worldwide movement out of his alarmist, unprovable warnings and admonitions about the invisible, silent threat that is ManBearPig Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW).

It's so easy, too. All Gore has to do is wait for any day that feels a little warm or a little cool, or a day when the sun shines or is obscured by clouds, or when there is hail or sleet, and say that it was caused by his personal bugaboo, AGW. His *real* money is made, though, when a storm comes.

That's right, a *storm.* Just like Earth has had for, oh, the entirety of its existence. Remember thunderstorms, tornadoes, cyclones? Thought so -- because they happened when you were growing up, just like they did when your parents were growing up, just like they did in the days before the internal combustion engine (called the "greatest threat facing our planet" by Gore in his 1980 book Earth in the Balance).

Al Gore is in the catbird seat -- and it's a brilliant place to be (as long as one is either completely nuts, or okay with having every bit of their popularity built on dishonesty). All he has to do is wait for a natural event, the likes of which has taken place with regularity since the world's beginning -- and which, therefore, has a 100% chance of occurrence -- and, when it happens, dash to the site (or to the nearest microphone) to claim that the event's occurrence further proves not only the existence, but the increasingly dire threat that ManBearPig Global Warming presents to the world as a whole.

Seriously, how much more plum a position can a person be in? Take the absolutely horrific tragedy in Myanmar, with a storm which has left at least 20,000 dead (and fears of up to 50,000 casualties persist). People are still dying, the casualty count is still on the rise, and here comes Al Gore strolling up to the microphone to inject himself into yet another tragedy. "We’re seeing consequences that scientists have long predicted might be associated with continued global warming," he told NPR today, plugging his one-man, worldwide, multi-billion dollar ambulance-chasing empire, and putting more money in his pockets on the backs of those whose lives have been lost in this natural disaster.

A parasite is the easiest thing in the world to be. It requires no effort; in Gore's case, all he has to do is sit on a corner which has a 100% chance of ambulance passage and wait -- and when one goes by, he just jogs down the street after it, shouting "I told you so!" while adoring press and politically-correct governments the world over shove microphones in his face and fight over the opportunity to kiss the hem of his cloak.

Like I said, it's an absolute plum position to be in -- once you learn to tolerate the gentle self-loathing that every person who builds their kingdom on others' suffering must deal with, and once you get past the indignity of knowing that your entire basis for respect and legitimacy is built on opportunistic falsehoods.

Once you can get past those, though, it's a great place to be. Just ask Al Gore.